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My four and a half becomes completely quiet and withdrawn when we have guests in the house. He runs and hides behind us and complains he is feeling a ‘Tummy ache’. It’s even worse when our guests bring kids his age. We tell him to show them his toys, but it makes matters only worse. We feel sometimes frustrated that other children may not like him. At kindergarden he has one or two friends he sometimes meets in the afternoon. But it’s very hard to set up a play date for him since other children are not too keen to play with him. What should we do?

Janet, IL
- At home, be empathetic and supportive. Do not push him to interact, as this will only make him cling to you more. Be patient with him. It will initially be necessary for you to stay with him when visitors are there. Your presence should help decrease his anxiety and make it easier for him to interact with others; he will interact when he is ready. Do not allow him to withdraw from the social situation, but stay with him when others are around to reassure him. Try to not be too much fun, however. You want to be a reassuring presence but boring so that it is more fun to interact with others. Also, keep working on the playdates and make sure you supervise them closely so that they are positive experiences for both children. Finally, ask his kindergarten teacher what’s going on. She may have some ideas for you as well. If this continues to be a problem or worsens, consult a mental health professional, especially if there are significant stresses within the family or a family history of anxiety disorders.
  Dr. Steven Tobias
My 6 year old son has been glued to theTV from the minute he sets foot into the house from school until he goes to sleep. He never plays with any of his school friends or anyone else during the afternoon. All he does is seat for hours watching TV and munching on snacks, as though he is hypnotized. My husband thinks its because he is overweight and this is a way to avoid dealing with his friends.

Natalie, OR
- How long had this been going on? Has he been acting this way since always or is it a new aquired trait? If it’s a new behaviour you need to see if something has occurred in school that makes him avoid all social contact. Try asking him or his teachers how he’s getting along with other kids. Ask her to keep an eye for him. How is his academic level? Is he keeping up with class, or does he require assistance? How long has he been overweight? Did he gain much weight recently?
  It is a well established that TV watching for more than 4 hours a day is associated with overweight in children. It sounds as though your son has entered a vicious cycle of passive activities, weight gain, low self esteem, leading to avoidance of any form of social activities, and so forthe. Try to find out what is the core of this behaviour as suggested about. You need to help him break the cycle slowly, gradually, without even letting on that he has a “problem”. Ecourage don’t reproach. Start by changing the nature of available snacks around the house, stating that the Family should aquire more healthy eating options. Which is a benefit for all anyway. Soft drinks should be replaced by low cal drinks or water, Make fruits and vegetables appealing and available. Encourage him to be more active by initiating familial sports activities - walks, biking, ball playing are just some suggestions you can all do together. It may be a good way to spend time together and talk. You can even enroll him to one-on-one physical activity classes of his choice (wall climbing, swimming are good options) or children’s gym, thus avoiding peer pressure in team sports until he gains confidence. Only then limit TV watching to less than 2 hours a day. You need to be consistent, supportive and positive. The rest will follow. For more detailed nutritional options, I suggest you contact a registered dietitian.
  Dr. Sarah Itzhaki
My 5 year old son is not interacting with children in school, he has isolated himself and will not talk or play with others. When school started he told me he played with friends and what they played. But I later learned that he made it all up. When the teachers or children speak to him he can barely respond or make eye contact. It’s been 6 months and he hasn’t made any progress in this manner at school. He has a good friend from a play group outside of school and he interacts very well with him. Also with his younger brother and they are best friends and play together. What should I do?

Hannah, NV
- The first thing to do is to ask the school for help in facilitating his social interaction. The teacher should pair him with another child for a task they need to do together and continue doing this until he is able to work with the other child. Also, if there is a school counselor, he should be part of a small social group that teaches children how to interact. It is also important that his teacher has a nurturing relationship with your child. At home, it would be helpful to invite classmates over so your child can become comfortable interacting with them; hopefully, this will translate to the school setting. However, as you can see, a child is sometimes comfortable with some people in some situations but this does not mean it will transfer to other people in other situations. Talk to your child about this situation in an empathic rather than critical manner. Making him feel badly about his behavior will only make him withdraw more. If the above suggestions do not help within a few weeks, a mental health counselor should be consulted. The longer this continues, the more difficult it will be for your child to interact with others in school.
  Dr. Steven Tobias
Toys‘NTayls! Why not Toys‘Ntales?
- We believe that imperfection is perfect. Acknowledging and accepting our imperfections is part of the Toys‘NTayls‘ philosophy. Our flaws define us as much as our strengths do. They make us who we are—interesting, human and compassionate.
Why a book with a toy?
- The experience of these combined entertainment media provides more complete growth for the child, because it activates both passive and active listening and engages more of his or her senses. A book with a toy enhances the joy of play, increases comprehension of the message and ignites the imagination.
Can I read the book without the toy?
- Sure. There are no rules, but for a more complete sensory experience, both are recommended. However you want to enjoy is up to you.
For what age group is the product intended?
- Age 4 and up. At different stages of a child’s development, what he or she absorbs from reading the tale and playing with the toy will change. The child can grow with the book and reach new levels of understanding. At every level, the enjoyment is complete.
What is the role of the parent?
- Parents can read the book to a 4- or 5-year-old. They can read it with and explain it to an early reader. Later, the child will be able to read it by himself.

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